WELCOME TO THE IDIOCENE

 

by Max Cafard

 

It has been proposed that the present era of life on earth should be called the “Anthropocene” to reflect the human domination of our planet.  However, an elegant, scientific-sounding term like “anthropocene” seems like a cop-out, a handy euphemism to hide exactly what kind of domination this is and what it’s doing to the planet. I propose that instead we call it the “Idiocene,” signifiying the “New Era of Idiots.”  “Idiot” comes from the Greek word ἰδιώτης meaning both an incompetent person and a private citizen. “Idiocene” is the one precisely appropriate name for an era that is suicidally stupid and ecocidally privatizing.  Would you like a simple definition of the Idiocene? You might remember the old joke about a robber who comes up to somebody on the street, pulls out a gun and says: “Your money or your life!” The victim pauses and then says “Can I have a moment to think it over?” That moment is the Idiocene.

 

Welcome to the Idiocene

It’s the Obliviocene

It’s the Distractocene

It’s the DontWorryBeHappyocene

It’s the ADHDocene

It’s the SpacedOutocene

It’s the Narcissocene

It’s the WhichWayIsUpocene

It’s the Amneseocene

It’s the NoThereWhenYouGetThereocene

It’s the BlahBlahBlahocene

It’s the Idiocene

 

Welcome to the Idiocene

It’s the Comatosocene

It’s the DruggedOutocene

It’s the Wastedocene

It’s the FiddleWithYourIphoneWhileTheWorldBurnsocene

It’s the Shopoholocene

It’s the SoUpI’mDownocene

It’s the Dopocene

It’s the Undeadocene

It’s the Zonkedocene

It’s the Crunkocene

It’s the Idiocene

 

Welcome to the Idiocene

It’s the Assbackwardocene

It’s the FoxToldMeIt'sNotTrueocene

It’s the Moronocene

It’s the Stupidocene

It’s the DumbAssocene

It’s the SingleDigitIQocene

It’s the Imbecilocene

It’s the OutToLunchocene

It’s the Nincompoopocene

It’s the Schlemielocene  

It’s the Idiocene

 

Welcome to the Idiocene

It’s the EndOfTheLineocene

It’s the HotelTerminusocene

It’s the Nightmareocene

It’s the ChickensComeHomeToRoostocene

It’s the Saw15ocene

It’s the UpShitCreekoscene 

It’s the OMGocene

It’s the Suicidocene

It’s the Collapsocene

It’s the Hoistonourownpetardocene

It’s the Idiocene

 

Welcome to the Idiocene

It’s the HumptyDumptocene

It’s the Jonestownocene

It’s the WalkingOffACliffocene

It’s the SpringBreaksOverY’allocene

It’s the BuiltOnAnIndianBurialGroundocene

It’s the ThatsAllFolksocene

It’s the EndOfSmileyFaceocene

It’s the Extinctocene

It’s the ItStinksocene

It’s the DeadMeatocene

It’s the Idiocene

 

Welcome to the Idiocene

It’s the KickTheBucketocene

It’s the Croakocene

It’s the SwanSongocene

It’s the LastGaspocene

It’s the GooseIsCookedocene

It’s the ZombiesInTheMallocene

It’s the NightOfTheLivingDeadocene

It’s the EndOfTheRopeocene

It’s the BiteTheDustocene

It’s the DeadIsThe NewAliveocene

It’s the Idiocene

 

Welcome to the Idiocene

It’s the NoExitocene

It’s the DeadEndocene

It’s the Wastelandocene

It’s the InTheToiletocene

It’s the Screwedocene

It’s the FuckedUpocene

It’s the Trashedocene

It’s the ShotToHellocene

It’s the DeadDuckocene

It’s the Kaputocene

It’s the Idiocene

 

Welcome to the Idiocene

It’s the CheckOutocene

It’s the ManBearPigWinsocene

It’s the EverythingMageddonocene

It’s the Apocalyptocene

It’s the MadMaxocene

It’s the ShitHitsTheFanocene

It’s the Y2KForRealThisTimeocene

It’s the WeAllGetDarwinAwardsocene

It’s the MoneyTalksNatureWalksocene

It’s the VeryBadSceneocene  

It’s the Idiocene

 

Yes, folks. It’s the Idiocene

Welcome to the Idiocene