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Featured Poets
Seven Poems
by Joel Dailey

My Antibiograpm

Years on my back
I have 50
"a willful derangement of the senses" took place at birth
Which brings us all the way to Now              Right Now
  (glasses clinking)
  (indistinct groaning)
    have attempted to isolate the buttocks
It hasn't always been easy
  (noise of scraping chairs/people getting up)
Trouble is       people don't realize
Things aren't the way they used to be
Things are different now
& people look at things di~~erently
That's only to be expected
  (doors slamming)
I'll have the macaroni medley abs for everyone
Disguise               disregard            dysentery
  (loud cursing)
'IWould ~ want you to know where you were going? II
MONKEYBOY/They made him/They raised him/Now he's coming out to play
The way of the cheeseburger Laddybucks
& then my heart (dolphinaria cargo) with pleasure fills

Can Dana Gioia Matter?

On a leash my pet theory I keep
Not unlike the broken windows (door slam) of my youth
Now deplaning in lockstep
Point huah           O my genetic code
27 years screaming air horn
EVIL            TERROR           LUST
& it's only 10:46 of.a weekday morn
I wish I had memorized 4 FUN FACTS ABOUT HILLARY
          same guy who named
Rock Hudson               Rock Hudson
Named Merle Johnson                Troy Donahue
Prioritize breathtaking architecture before the heart attack
Instead of the last word (tweak) in portable workstations

My Friend Flicka

As in         did you hear about Gerhard?
Excessive travel
10 days after the diagnosis
Just like that
Sprinkled with intentional ambiguity
My feelings were emotionally sad for about 23 minutes
Calls of' "Ballhog!" drif'ted over the f'ence
The mind on the other hand
Clears the millionaire left fielder's outstretched mitt
His dream a big toe testing pool water
Swimsuits that'll make him say
Tired of spending too much time chopping up small ingestible animal:
Or the confidence that comes with clear skin
If you are so moved
Eliminates excess keystroke noise
Childhood quizzes on the conventional banana theory
Continually reminded by my mother of its innate complexity I was
Rendered in slo roo
One beautiful warm sincere outgoing sunset
Duly noted by exclusive team coverage
II Get off my nervous "
As should be yours
I have learned how the stars dress 10 pounds thinner
Foam, though cheaper, instead
Not to mention backache
Yes I am serious
As well as in an unof'f'icial capacity blatantly "cheese happy" I'd say the gerbil is a delivery system unexplored
       Stop the wheel

       I want to be linear You might say

I wouldn't


Used to be a worryfree mobile unit            Having no facility
I yam what I sorely bereft                      Nows I infrastructure
Antithetical to my mission                      Turn this ordinary blouse
into designer wear              The anti-aging plugs no workee              I
trombone particle            Untouched by 100K successful self--
starters     A sharp downward turn            t'fully loaded"
ers the neighbors an unprecedented view of the uppercut
Thundering hoof      Single parent lugnut             "Wow, exactly
1.2796 inches of rain!" Lon exclaims, pausing warily at
the last toothache             Ahoy big mouth radio      Exact nobbs

                                 Built to last (a few days)
                                 True scatter indicates
                                 Subject to previous
                                 Via relentless footlonging

200 Pepsi

All the excitement Flogs
the extremity There is
you see talk

Wolf Blitzer a la branch
The ultra feminine look
A well lubricated nose

Meatballs for midgets
Lotta mattress bumps
Senor Crunch Time




           ~                                      ~


Lost Reverse

Off duty          cornbread             I'm divorced
From reality tv
In order to deal with a problem
That has arisen with the mayonnaise

Which may seem insignificant to you
But me being myself coupled with plenty

Of eyelevel uncertainty plus the angst
Associated with this fleabitten life

What I mean is every second 6 cans
O~ whipped cream are sold in this nation
Yet there you sit
Relax while I traipse on your furniture needs

           O my tormented patio
           Subject to the rains

           The incessant suns
           What do you know of love between the cracks

Yet another thrill ride on the noggin toboggan The
developments are rapid today
After three decades of show stopping style
I'm haunted by four things

           1. Dub Herring of Picayune, Mississippi
           2. Accumulating lefthand turns,untaken
           3. An "award winning horse" named "Blowjob" 4.
           Clinton hires 3 breasted intern

Great Hair Now

My wife & I have always dreamed of owning an automobile collision
            repair shop
The kind with nail-biting action
Which I know sounds a lot like a hardware store
But I mean fipgernails

      with a farm system out of which minor league players may soon
          develop into major league prospects
      tortured beyond belief                 & then disappears into the very
          Tunnel of Belief
      if by doggery
One crowded by small (3.2 ~t. avg.) business persons

The funny thing is elements of cardboard
EMPLOYEE OF THE MONT~ Ronald washes his hands feet & penis
Yo          garb & garble
Logjam giving rise (justly accused of 'tire bulge') to inclination

All Poetry & Nothing ButClash of CivilizationsEC ChairFeatured PoetsForeign DeskGalleryStage
Hedonism: Theory & PracticeLetters & GlossolaliaArt of MarriageMoney TalkPets & BeastsZounds

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