The Exquisite Corpse home archives submit black market comrads hot sites search
The Exquisite Corpse - A Journal of Letters and Life
Edited by Andrei Codrescu
ec chair poetick kultur anti-amthropomorphism
gallery zounds the making and unmaking of person
new economics of late capitalism
diaries and memoirs translation and her retinue
working class sweat
the corpse reads classics letters the book of revelations and epiphanies
the making and unmaking of person
Diaries and Memoirs of the Strictly Fabulous

Ecuadorian Blow Job May 2003 + Clyde's Reaction
by Xaviera Hollander

So, my dearest Clyde.. May 29. 2003

I might as well confess it to you toooooo. If Dia can handle it you surely can. Remember I got all worked up with that nasty cyberwar with Ben, That sure made my adrenaline jump up miles.
     So while I was furiously hammering away at the keyboard getting all worked up, the very sexy Ecuadorian 40 year old bricklayer/handyman Ricardo Cesar who is working away at my roof keeps climbing up and down the stairs and fiddling around with some bricks in front of my office room, dressed in nothing more than his hairless bare suntan chest and a pair of sexy worn out cut off jeans., he has a big black moustache, pitch black thick curly hair and the whitest of teeth set between a mouth with lips that are made to kiss and please many women. He is a cheerful young man, who does not look a day over 30 and is always is singing or whistling,... even in tune.. his flat ironing board belly starts looking more delicious by the minute, I have had my eyes on him for more than a week now...
     We talk in quick Spanish and I notice he has a cute Ecuadorian accent. It gives me a break from the nasty cyberwar text I am composing as I look up from my keyboard every once in a while to answer his questions. he found out from his boss Ignatio that I was a writer of pornographic stories... Did I have any books in Spanish maybe for him to read. "No... not here" "Could you give me some advice maybe" "Sure.". "My problem is when I lived in Ecuador I had many women and in fact I am the father of 4 beautiful (out come the pics from the back of his pocket, crumpled up in his old wallet) with 3 different women, but I was NEVER married to any of them.... (smart guy at least) All kids are in Ecuador, except his 18 year old son Juan Carlos and at the same time his eye apple who came to live here in Spain for a while." He wants to bring him along tomorrow to help him building a new roof., all in Ecuador except a 17 year old boy he is bringing in tomorrow who came to visit. He asks for my books in Spanish... "well. senora. my problem is that I have a huge sexual appetite and No outlet. Since I am in Spain I once almost made love to a woman, she was an "estrangera" from Finland, but she got drunk so fast that I did not even want to make love to her anymore.. My problems is what am I supposed to do with this perpetual hard on?" "um..." I took another break from my cyberwar typing... "how about if you took a dip in that pool you have been looking at so eagerly each time i went in the water... that'll cool you off"
      He was all ears and eagerness, but as it was still his working hour I said... :later when your companieros ( colleagues) take their midday break and go out to the road restaurant Venta los Pacos for luncheon. I am sure Paloma ( who has been ogling him as well) will fix you something to eat if you first come and swim with me."
      He immediately started to work in twice the speed and took my hand.. as by this time i stood near the window through which we spoke. "es una maravilla... que guapa es, Xaviera" ( you are wonderful and how beautiful you are) he said in a warm melodious voice , for the very first time ... remember he is my personnel who is building my house..
      "how old are you, " I asked him . "40 anos" "y tu?" "ummmmm. I will be sixty in a couple of weeks" "que va... non es possible." that cannot be true...
      I decided to leave our talk to that and gestured for him to continue working. I noticed a distinct bump in his rather tied cutoffs.
      A few hours later i was already installed at the side of the pool and had followed James advice to get an instant tan by rubbing some ghastly looking orange gook made of carrots etc. on my face, my legs and shoulders and arms . It would have to sink in for 10 minutes without going into the water, it would burn stronger and quicker than anything else and had NO protector either. In the meantime I had also applied a layer of shocking pink zink oxyde on my lips so I would not burn my lips, which are the most sensitive part of my face. All in all I did NOT look like an oil painting.. but the rest of the body, now that I shed some weight actually did not look too bad ... spread out all naked on my king size beach couch. Now.. suddenly while I was half dozing off I hear Ricardo whistling and there he is. by the side of the pool. as he removes his t shirt which he had bound around his head like a bandana against the sweat and then he takes off his slippers, and then.. now he sees that I am all eyes .... he gets down to his.... no not nakedness, but a neat white bathing suit. clearly showing off his contours as clearly as Liz Taylors contours were showing off in the film "on the waterfront."
     I tell him to remove all his clothes. tu puedes desnudar te sin problemas " you may go naked, no problem " I say, but he is shy and bashful and has good manners so he keeps on his bathingsuit and starts swimming... a great body and super good swimmer. I cannot resist all this temptation, and i half wipe off the pink stuff from my lips.. still some remnants left... and dive after him and we start racing. He wins, the he slows down and offers to let me ride on his broad back.. So I do, I rub my naked crotch against his bare shoulders... my legs around his waist, we fool around, I swim away, he follows me, we laugh a lot. I always make a lot of noise and shrieking sounds when I swim in that sublime pool.. specially when the water is crystal clear.
     He comes closer to me , I grab Him by the hips, he lifts up my face and asks me if he can wipe off the rest of the pink zinc oxide from my lips and what it is for anyway ... Before I can say a word he kisses me very deep, his big bushy moustache even tickles my face, I guide his timid big hands towards the front of my body and make him cup my tits that look twice the size in the clear water. Then he bends forward and kisses each nipple one by one, his face is now wet from the water and our saliva. My nipples start looking like cherry pips so erect, and super large . I can feel how wet i am getting and not just from the pool water . Now I remove the top of his bathing suit and start kneading his balls and cock with both hands. Lovely comfortable size prick this man has.. neatly clipped and with a terrific dark head, eager to be looked after
      He is a bit shy, we are still in the pool for anyone to see us.. When he is about to burst in my hands or against my legs I take his hand and guide him towards the staircase of the pool, that leads to some shadowy bit covered by palm trees that give us cover from the outsiders. "sit there..." I point him out to sit at the one before last highest step.. and move closer." He obediently listens and looks like a kid in a candy store, "Now let me chupar te" ( suck you) I say in a soft voice as he tries to kiss me again and again.. "But... Nobody has ever taken that stick of mine in their mouth" he sputters... He sure never read a penthouse letter I guessed. "and... I add to that.. :" nobody has probably ever swallowed your come either..." I grumble as I start putting my eager mouth around the tip of his throbbing cock... which is half in the water and half outside. "i told you senora...( he must have forgotten my name so mesmerized is the look in his stunned face) I have not had a woman in three years... it has been tooooo long. por favor... do with me what you want, I am your willing victima." et voila... within seconds after devouring his erect member I could feel his big balls get harder and harder and the orgasm came spurting out of his cock all over my face and partially in my mouth. It had been ages since I last tasted come ... kind of bitter and so much I was not prepared for that... So I, smilingly with my mouth closed however, swam away from him to then discretely let the rest of his come disappear in the pool. He quickly got dressed and a few moments later I saw him sitting down at the terrace of John and Paloma devouring a big steak she had just fried for him. He sure could use a bit of extra energy. Seldom have I seen a bricklayer work so hard afterwards ... on the house that is.

Question to Penthouse..
1. Should I have swallowed his come or does the pool water not really get polluted.
2, What do I tell my lovely American man whom I adore, but who lives miles, what.. countries away.. and who, because of distance between us, and his work, I don't see often enough to stay well serviced...

You see I have at one point even been totally faithful to him for months... I used to be in a lesbian relationship even for 6 years before I met this man, but gave that up for him.. though he claims he does not mind if I continued with her.. but I don't think He would approve of what I did this afternoon. with another MAN.. as that to other men obviously represents real competition, Little does he know that I am in no way intellectually nor emotionally involved with this Latin lover and as he works for me will probably leave it at this one time blowjob. 3. I don't consider this real cheating.. Do YOU??? after all the Ecuadorian bricklayer never penetrated me though he tried to finger me in the water but his hands were a bit too rough for my taste... so what did I do for my own relief.??.. I forgot to tell you I rushed inside to the bathroom where I took my electric toothbrush and used the backside of the brush to masturbate me.. sure had enough fantasies for days. I think I came as fast as my latin almost lover. Mind you I did rinse the entire toothbrush afterwards.

Here is what Clyde's final answer is to all of us.. our audience on the net.. By the way, I have never had more fun with one silly email and world wide reactions. this could never have happened ten years ago before emails existed.. I also had to work hard to regain Clydes confidence and now realize he is so much more conservative than you, me or romke or even john... but he is worth holding on to, and respecting his wishes as he is just a good and honest human being who wants to keep his new old lady for a very long time , all for himself. And.. if you ask me, would I like him to be faithful to me? Of course I would instantly admit YESSSSSS and in case he fails I however would rather find out from HIM than through the grapevine, but even then maybe I too would get very hurt from such a vivid description.

     And here is his final answer, I guess:

Dear XXX,
     Now you silly goose. I am a prize that has not been taken by any woman. So, you are still in the running. I will give you a simple test for your actions in the future. If you are tempted to do something that might cause a problem in our relationship, ask yourself a simple question, "What would I want Clyde to do if he were in this situation?" Then, proceed on the basis of the answer.
     The story I told (which, alas, was not true) followed on the heels of a series of revelations by you of your fling with Lawrence, an endless series of tails about your various confidants and admirers giving you massages while displaying their enormous cocks, and a general hint that you could indulge all of these people whenever you wanted, and maybe you would if the mood struck you. I felt the need to give you a taste of how it felt to receive all of this information, and apparently, it felt the same way to you as your stories felt to me. My point about all this is that I do not need to puff up my desirability in order to make you pay attention to me. And, in case you haven't figured it out, neither do you.
     I found it interesting to see how many people had such opinionated opinions about our scuffle. What it all boils down to is that we are all different and we need to respect that difference and adjust according to our own needs and desires. I will be happy to embrace all of those people who call you their friend and even those who are your EX lovers.

Love, Clyde

If anyone out there knows of an outlet where I can publish the entire caboodle of all the various emails i have received on this subject of guilt and fidelity please let me know. There are some great little answers and suggestions I would like to share with many more than just you all.

     And here at last some frivolous text by Clyde just received:

I miss you. I am looking forward to singing "Happy Birthday" to you. I also thought your story was well written. A male writer would have been even more graphic, I think. Writing excites me because of its intellectual ingredients as much as what it says. I would enjoy working up the whole exchange for a magazine.
     Watch out for angry cupboards and attack Yucca plants.

Love, Clyde

And; here last but not least is the poem Clyde wrote about this incident and which we use at our lectures, like in Irelan last summer; where I relate this story to the public and then introduce him to the audience as well:

Green-eyed Monster August 2003

You said, "I spit him out!"
and therefore, you were absolved
as his milky seed
trailed from your lips
into the blue water of your pool.

What you did not see
was the slow swirl of nutrients
growing into the green-eyed monster
coiled to make its quantum leap, 3000 miles,
through the wires of the story that you told.

Up and down the ladder
to your broken roof
in the Spanish sun
the mustachioed man
labored, bare-chested,
glistened with sweat
that ran down his body
into the art of your desire
where you had ready
bushel upon bushel
of the forbidden fruit.

And so, you offered it to him
and the old story was told again,
"Eat and die!"
You took his stiffened cock
into your mouth
and told me every detail.

We are gathered here
to test your seduction
against the monster's strength.

Beware! It can transform itself
into a woman or a man.
A quick set of contacts--brown eyes,
snaky coils--curls,
shrieking voice--mellow and deep.

The sharp claws
you will not see
until your dripping heart
is speared and raised triumphant
into the smoking air.

--Clyde Tressler

Thursday, May 29, 2003, 11:44:18 AM, you wrote:

     C> 1. Your story has the ring of a story.
     X:what do you mean... it is a fictitious fantasy ( double I guess) made into a penthouse letter. Of course I shall in reality put a different name underneath the letter, otherwise it sounds unreal.

     C> 2. Did your fling with Lawrence have anything to do with my story?
     X:I did NOT have a fling with lawrence this year, remember his mother ha a birthday, he was far away and had no wheels nor time to come and see me. I cannot call a lifelong (sine he is 17) once a year Schtumpf (less emotional even than the ones I have had with Roberto schlosser in Mexico.. as that is a lifelong Love affair) a fling.. even if it is not emotional.. The bricklayer... if it had happened would have been a fling or a thing or a swing...

     C> 3. A peccadillo is a peccadillo.
     X: explain what exactly is a peccadillo. Have not got a dictionary at hand.. a lightweight non important sexual relief thing I guess.. without taking any feelings of love or passion away for someone like you and me.. Yes.. in that case I would call this fantasy come true or not a peccadillo.
     C> 4. You are a porn star.
     X: Never appeared in a movie.. oh yes my pleasure is my business. Oh I want to hear your voice... right now.. or are you off to school. email me till what time I can call. No.. it is not guilty feelings just somehow arguments get me enormously horny... John was my master there

     C> 5. I am a school teacher.
     X: John used to be my master in nastiness.. I don't want that between us, but a bit of jealousy makes me feel reallllllly gooooood. shows you are also a bit of a protecting mother goose,. wants all her eggs in her own basket. YOURS.
     C> 6. I am not Dia or Romke or any of your other lovers.
     X: Sure know that.. but you are not very flexible like they have been.. so how about that NEW MAN, and sexual freedom then??.

     C> 7. What was your purpose?
     X: Is this a questionnaire for some kind of newspaper publication in Scarsdale. I wanted to provoke and at the same time make up a great and horny letter as I felt damned horny. I DID masturbate.. May I please and if you don't mind yes.. there was a fantasy in there about the Ecuadorian but at the same time I thought strongly of you and me being the naughty girl who deserves a spanking. You owe me a spanking. O.K.

     C> 8. I shall have to think about it.
     X: WHAT.... what is there to think about for heavens sake. how many hits I get on my bum... come one. Clyde.. I am an almost 60 year old woman, neither you nor I will get that many opportunities at our age to be flattered by someone so much younger and sexy.. Unless there are dozens of Lolitas looking for a father figure where you live.

     C> 9. Dinner is not a blowjob.
     X: No.. certainly not a blowjob that was not totally consumed but supposedly is still floating in an imaginary swimming pool somewhere in fantasy land. wouldn't mind an after dinner blowjob instead of a mint. with YOU

     C> 10. Ha! Ha!
     X: Now what is that all about :>

Can you forgive me Master.. for once in a year having had naughty thoughts.. and written about it. It pays my bills you know. Penthouse will be delighted with this letter Just dont know how to answer it. Do you still love me. .. if only a leeeeetle bit.... I certainly Do.. but by God I better not cheat on you in real life.. and as I am always dead honest I sure want to know when I step out of the boundaries of your tolerance. We simply MUST try to be together more often..I am going NUTS and getting totally sexually frustrated with this heat on my naked body every day and nobody to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. If only I can get back to the USA and come and be with YOU on your own ground some more. Blame it on the law and your work

Your humble slave that stepped almost out of line.




home archives submit black market comrads hot sites search ec chair peotick kultur anti-amthropomorphism
new economics of late capitalism gallery zounds the making and unmaking of person
diaries and memoirs translation and her retinue
the book of revelations and epiphanies working class sweat
the making and unmaking of person the corpse reads classics letters

©1999-2004 Exquisite Corpse.
Site design by Compulsive Creations.