our spring pledge campaign begins, I would like to thank you for
your unwavering support of WPBS programming. Last year, your generous
pledge of $50 went a long way towards supporting the WPBS family.
We urge you now to take this opportunity to renew your membership
by making a pledge in the amount of $366. We know this may seem
like a substantial increase but the pressures on our budget are
particularly acute this year. Viewed another way, your pledge is
only $1/day. (For your convenience we've added $1 to cover
February 29th in 2004.) The generosity of dedicated members like
you, Mr.Gebbens, helps bring quality programming to millions of
viewers every day. Please send your pledge today. Thank you.
are so sorry not to have received your pledge. Our volunteers are
eagerly waiting to hear from you. Mr. Gebbens, these times are particularly
challenging for all of us at WPBS especially given the number of
choices viewers have available to them. We are deeply saddened to
discover that you, Mr. Gebbens, are contributing to this problem.
According to your cable company DigiCom, you have been paying an
extra $25.95/month for their Cultural Package. Thus, it seems that
you enjoy the programming we provide at WPBS but would just rather
pay to see it on BBC America, A&E, and Bravo. Is this the thanks
we get for providing commercial free programs, Mr.Gebbens? Please
redress this insult and act now by sending in your pledge of $366.
As you consider your pledge, remember that WPBS offers far more
than cable, at a fraction of the cost, and always with a show of
appreciation. How many return address labels or Big Bird pez dispensers
have you ever received from DigiCom?
WPBS family sincerely hopes that you have not forgotten about us.
Time is running out to save some of the highest quality programming
on television. We know you appreciate the knowledge that your whole
family gains from watching WPBS. In fact, our commitment to the
spread of knowledge has encouraged us to disabuse your wife about
the true nature of those $39.95 charges on your credit card from
WebFun Billing Ltd. Of course Mr. Gebbens, the next time you are "busy working on the computer" in the basement, you
could perhaps find a free hand to write a check for $999.95 to WPBS.
We would then gladly consider allowing this one small bit of knowledge
to go unshared.
WPBS Fall campaign has reached its final stages. We are confident
that we can raise the remaining 70% of necessary funds before the
New Year. But we can only achieve this success with your help, Mr.Gebbens.
This is your last chance to help WPBS reach its annual goals. Coincidentally,
it is also the last chance to ensure that your son Daniel arrives
home from the Harlow Hills Boy's Academy in time for Easter.
Surely Mr. Gebbens you realize that the many hours of WPBS children's
programming have significantly aided Daniel's "prep"
for such a prestigious school. Thus we urge you to say "thank
you" by pledging just $1,000,000. As an incentive, this pledge
qualifies you for the tax and toll free gift of Daniel's transport
you know, the State Penitentiary has suffered a series of budget
cuts along with many other state agencies. We have made every effort
to reduce costs wherever feasible. However, the severity of the
current fiscal crisis forces us to seek support from compassionate
citizens like you. Our records indicate that one of our inmates,
a certain Ms. Gayle Tomas, resides with us due to successful prosecution
of a case you brought against her. Mr. Gebbens, we are confident
that you will find it in your heart to make your first annual contribution
in the amount of $2000 to the State Penitentiary. That's just
$5/day (plus cigarette taxes) to keep Ms. Gayle Tomas in our care
and, needless to say, away from you. We at the State Penitentiary
know you value the high quality justice service we provide and thank
you in advance for your generous support.