OPENING CEREMONY:

Tiananmen Square Chase

COMPETITIVE EVENTS:

The Dissident Toss
Falung Gong Eliminations
Tibetan Persecutions
Taiwan Bashing
Shar-Pei Grooming
Public Hanging Trials
Genghis Khan Wall Walk
Dead Heat Lying
Chow Rolling Downhill
The Hop-Skip and Hobble
Chop Stick Dexterity
Hunger Strike Exercises
Cigarette Butt Burning
Firing Squad Accuracy
The 50-Yard Spit
Prostitute Fencing
Tortured Endurance Runs
General Tso's White Eye-Ball Ping-Pong
The Second Child Vault
Hand, Heel, and Head Whacking

Decastrateathon (Closed To Foreign Devils)

CEREMONIAL CONFESSIONS:

Noodle Festival of Champions
Flag Waving Demonstrations
Human Rights Fireworks

     (to be continued)