FOUND

One day I found a pea the size of a golf ball. The next day I found a golf ball the size of a pea.

WINDSOR TIE

I was trying to tie my tie and I got my finger caught. Then I tied my tie but my heart wasn't into it.

GAME FOR PARTY

See who can get most string in mouth.

POINT TO PIN

How would you say the pin on the left has a broken point?
I would say, "The pin on the left has a broken point!"

NEW ELEMENTS

Ci      Cigarettes
Pr      Prozac
Sc      Scotch


TWINS WITH INDIVIDUAL TASTES

"Let's get married in America."
"Let's get married in Japan."
"Let's throw rice."
"Let's throw hamburgers."


FISH DIGEST

IT IS FUN

It can be fun to masturbate alone.


A HEALING SNAKE

I have come to fix our fucked-up relationship.
Look, in my hand I have a healing snake.
Bear witness, Helen, the snake hisses your name.


IDENTITY

There's a scholar named Morse Peckham who says that identity is just an arbitrary claim we repeat endlessly so that others will remember us. I'm the guy who likes to talk about thongs, for instance.


TANKA

How fragile
and fresh
everything
is in life-
even the NBA.