Please address your letters to letters@corpse.org

- SCHOOL FOR THE IMAGINATION -

From: Ms. BeMused
To: submissions@corpse.org
Subject: Staff only: "The School for the Imagination"

Bon apres-midi mes belles corpses et corpsettes,

A Blessed bloody Beltane to you....

Please consider this my official initial inquiry concerning application, via 'telepathic correspondence course' to the irreverent & newly conjured institution of The School for the Imagination , residing in the odd locale of the lost Quarter. When this SFI, gone MIA, is eventually located-- such coordinates shall be found to be synonymous, to be sure-- with the conceptual seat of the imagination. Thus the inherent surreal nature of the beast, allows for trial & study by cosmic wavelength as acceptable forms of initiatic attendance, as well as preferment of eventual degree.

"Pacing oneself, sweating for pleasure, & using imagination" are definitively & sorely needed, to offset the obvious bane of existence inherent in the presence of blundersomebreathing in an obnoxious world of self-spawned cyberclones & pseudo-humanis clamoring for misattenuated attention!

To this end, I suggest that various 'degrees of degrees' be available at "SFI".

• by psychic friends network subscription only (PFNSO)
• by personal etheric Ethernet support (PEES)
• by telepathic transport time (TTT)
• by sexual FAX (intonation recommended here) (SexFax)
• by misattenuated organ strain {of realms lyrical & dimensional} (MOS)
• by physical 'labor pool': (PLP)
• for the "sweet-sweat in impromptu promiscuity degree": (SSIPD)
• credits to be awarded for each local swimming pool/or personal bathtub scrubbed in the nude, peroxide extra; personalization recommended as herein proscribed:
• head available for resident lifeguards/bathers for extra-credit
• maximum points accumulated available=69...@
• 12 per hand job
• 24 for the whole yardage run at a blow
• 36 for added on-site fetish accoutrements
• 48 for never-before-dared categories of such ornaments
• 60 for mastering techniques to 69 while simultaneously fucking
• 69 for not complaining to management while doing all the above
• 1,000 for being teachers' "petted"
• sans teeth
• swallowing sweet & sour sweat nectar
• while munching the Edenic apple
• without being consumed by writhing serpents
• or mutilated by previously published Corpses/Corpsettes

Oh yes, and failing a students' ability to trade in "$$$ for imagination" etc.... I suggest an alchemical addition to SFI, of an underground Corpse laboratory, specifically malattuned & misconstructed for the purpose of performing the decelerated learning skills of transforming the blood of our desires into the wine of our passions.

I chose my waterfall of winsome imagination IOU's to be changed into hard cold gold! All this so I can both virginally & orgasmically experience "SWS"-- and thusly deprived of my true life, reapply with the sodden masses for a masters degree in the misappropriation of said unlawfully gained funds. I opt for both a backsliding Christian approach to unlearning & a sudden infant death syndrome simulacrum formula.

I believe I have covered a full gamut of aspects of pacing oneself while imaginatively sweating! Herewith, I throw in my gauntlet! I await your obnoxious reply, whilst simultaneously running the air conditioner & the woodstove full blast, lest I be accused of an unfair advantage in either realm of the real drop.

Excuse my sudden departure, as I have a date with a rather overstuffed reefer in the course of my pro-active enrollment in the swift studies of "Lost Appetite for Life Syndrome " & "No More Hunger." So, let's 'feed the children', shall we?

Glowingly & Disrespectfully yours,

Ms. BeMused

aka: Mme. de Paris

From: Rumn8r@aol.com
Date: Tue, 6 Jun 2000
Subject: School for the Imagination
To: submissions@corpse.org

Though I haven't the millions or billions to qualify for immediate admission to your program, perhaps I can proficiency in. Maybe there is a test like the figure you draw on a matchbook to gain entry into a correspondence art school. Maybe I could write a business plan or IPO prospectus on a matchbook and impress you with my potential. Here's hoping.

From: DHarris464@aol.com
Date: Thu, 8 Jun 2000 10:43:15
Subject: School for the Imagination and PMS
To: submissions@corpse.org

Dear Dean Codrescu --

Mom started to laugh as she read your brochure. "What's so funny?" I asked, putting down my milk and cookies and going to the monitor. "Well, honey, they got the acronym wrong here -- 'SSM' for 'Program for Sweat Management' -- and it takes me back to Wellesley and what we called the Program for Management of Sweetness. Imagine -- twenty-five hundred girls, all syncronized by the end of Fall Semester." I gave mom a blank look, like Britney Spears does when someone says "diaper my ass and call me Phyllis," or "inspiration is the sincerest form of flattery." Mom looked up -- "You'll understand when you get older."

Anyway -- thanks for making mom laugh. She can be such a bitch at times.

-- Young Girl Dreaming of Matthew and Arnold

I am very interested in the School for the Imagination. I need help. I am stagnant. I haven't used my brain for a long time. I want to sit and smile. But I live in Tempe, Arizona. Does this make it hard? Do you offer Internet Classes? Just a question. I will appreciate any suggestions you can offer. Thank you. Andrei Codrescu rules.

- WE LOVE IT WHEN YOU STROKE OUR EGOS -

From: CadmiumB@aol.com
Date: Thu, 29 Jun 2000
Subject: Thanks
To: submissions@corpse.org

Just a quick note of thanks for your publication. While I have the ability to receive news through television, radio, paper or the net 24 hours a day, I hear a mostly a monotonous drone of the same view, the same story, the same pictures everywhere I turn. Constantly assaulted by Elian, Britany Spears, the ghost of Princess Di. News turned over like compost (or is it manure?), again and again to be heaped on yesterday's Monica, Ken, Linda and Bill. I have seen more images of The Ramsy tart than can be washed from the brain. True, I must use the over - praised Internet to read EC but I can live with that. You are like water in the desert. Thank you.

- LAWRENCE FERLINGHETTI -

Date: Wed, 26 Apr 2000
From: gree6436
Subject: Lawrence Ferlinghetti
To: submissions@corpse.org

I am so tired of definitions for poetry that I have been forced to write another one. Is there a cure for this mental illness that seems to affect all poets since the dawn of time? How can we stop masturbating against anthologies and really create a useful medium for poetry? P.S. Poetry is what the earth says when it is talking to itself. Poetry is what the universe says when it talks in its sleep.

Lincoln Greenhaw

- HARIETTE SUROVELL'S "QUEENPINS OF THE CALI CARTEL" -
Check out http://www.villagevoice.com/issues/0027/cotts.shtml for a report on the New York Post, plagarism, and Hariette's piece!

Tue May 16 17:29:28 2000
From: John Watson
To: "'rp@panix.com'"
Subject: Thank you!

Ms. Surovell: I found your site through a link on the Drudge Report. I have read several of your true crime stories. You have a wonderful style that completely immerses your reader into the scene you are describing. I just wanted to let you know how much I enjoy your work and look forward to reading more in the future.

Thank you, again.

John Watson Brownsville, TX.

Mon May 15 12:26:29 2000
From: Edward McFadden
To: RP@panix.com
Subject: Reader's Digest

We've had e-mail troubles, so I'm resending my message from Friday again. I enjoyed your Cali Cartel piece. I'm an editor w/ Reader's Digest and we're on the lookout for true crime stories, mysteries, etc. As well, we're looking for writers who can write such stories well. I'd be interested in speaking with you should have a moment to do so. I can be reached at (202) 223-9520. Cheers.

Date: Sun, 14 May 2000
From: DICK DROST
To: rp@panix.com
Subject: (no subject)

A NEW, EXCITING AND INNOVATIVE INTERNET "PLAYBOY-TYPE" MONTHLY MAGAZINE ENTITLED www.E-M-A-G.com WILL MAKE IT'S DEBUT ON AUGUST 1ST, 2OOO. WE WOULD LIKE TO INCLUDE YOUR SUPERB INFORMATIVE REPORT ON QUEENPINS OF THE CALI CARTEL IN IT'S ENTIRITY, WITH YOUR PERMISSION, OF COURSE... MAY WE DO SO? ATTACHED HEREIN IS OUR "COVER" PROTOTYPE.

D!CK DROST - EDITOR AND PUBLISHER E-M-A-G

Mon May 15 16:26:03 2000
From: "Nick Thimmesch"
To: rp@panix.com
Subject: RE: Hi from Hariette Surovell

Hariette: Love your webb site & especially that link to the Cali women story. USA Media Communications is a one-man media monitoring & consultation service (cheaper than Lexus/Nexus) that "tracks" stories & writers of political and public policy interest. Obviously I saw your story on DRUDGE -- a friend and ally.

From: rp@panix.com
To: Nick Thimmesch
Subject: Hi from Hariette Surovell

Thanks for your comments, Nick! I don't have an e-mail list per se, but besides maintaining my website, www.matahariette.com, I'm a regular contributor to www.corpse.org when I'm not writing for print magazines. Could you please tell me more about USA Media Communications? Thanks, Hariette Surovell

Fri May 12 18:53:59 2000
From: UC Berkeley Library Public PC User
To: RP@panix.com
Subject: That's a movie. (Cali drug women.)

Very interesting story, great read.