"found language" pieces were assembled using phrases borrowed
from a single issue of The Sun, a weekly tabloid. The issue
included articles on "New Revelations Hidden in Vaults of the
Popes," "Greatest Healing Hands in America Work Wonders
Daily," and "Is Drilling Hole in Head Really Way to Find
Inner Peace?" A word of advice: The reader should suspend disbelief
for the sake of a plastic bag containing the purloined lips of singer
When your brain is teeming with unbearable
revelations, it's time to play patty cake with Dr. Kevorkian.
talk guru Phil Donohue is no pipe dream. Laying his vibrant hands
on friends, then neighbors, then total strangers, he revealed his
incredible healing oyster. The results were stupendous! There simply
isn't enough room to bury them all.
the 80s waned, so did Cher's energy. Staggering alimony payments
of intense heat and deadly gases sometimes hurt so bad that she
beat a hasty retreat underground. In the freezing confines of Antarctica,
she played a twisted game of hide and seek with a light-skinned
race of tiny people, the oldest and most advanced on our planet.
city planners, and environmentalists can't wait to wrap themselves
around singer Sarah MacLachlan. Since there can be only one winner,
anarchy will be a way of life.
by a huge grotesque nose dating back to the pharaohs, bible scholar
LaToya Jackson wrote a letter to God. Dear God, I sometimes hurt
so bad. This may be hard to believe, but I have three children at
home who call me the Antichrist. All three children are yours, but
I might have had better luck on a bicycle. God bored a hole
through her skull, a copy-cat tactic taken from UFO technology.
After a few weeks of treatment, a famous rugby player from behind
the bamboo curtain revealed his incredible pedal-powered six-digit
worm before the lady. A torrent of domestic happiness came crashing
down. God knows what it's doing to the children.
are born in the bellies of fiery dragons. Life in a small tube,
hidden in secret vaults deep inside the Vatican, bathed in warm
milk or cocoa--tiny humanoid skeletons, revving the engine as a
sign of protest.
old is your body? This test is simple. Keeping your back, butt and
knees in a straight line, mount 500 prostitutes from all over the
world as fast as you can without straining. Record your time to
the nearest second. If it takes 17 minutes and 30 seconds, you have
a good system for a 60-year-old.
once the lights go out, your partner lets loose a plastic bag teeming
with tiny grotesque humanoid beings, you're entering the "unfriendly
zone." Beat a hasty retreat to your subconscious mind. Visualize
warm milk or cocoa.
and women are built differently. This miraculous discovery, hidden
in secret vaults deep inside the Vatican, was uncovered by medieval
manuscript expert LaToya Jackson. Her arm raised in triumph, she
began using the tools of creation for the sake of enjoyment. Monks
in nearby monasteries took drastic steps to protect themselves.
your home with the sight and sound of pontiffs on their death beds.
It's a picture that sings!
* * *
Sharing a grave with strangers is
yet another confidence-buster. Cremation is the answer. It's a small
price to pay for untold visions of God's healing oyster. Call Dr.