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Exquisite Corpse - A Journal of Letters and Life

Broken News
The Nirvana Project
by Eric Bosse ||
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DATE: 10 October 2001
TO: All Members
FROM: Martin Pellugio
RE: Karma & Public Relations

Greetings, spiritual companions. Marty here, sending each of you peace and continued soul-growth with every mindful breath in these seemingly dark times. In light of the recent terrorist attacks on the United States, I want -- no, strike that -- I feel intuitively compelled to touch base with you regarding Baba-ji's remarks to the press last week and the subsequent controversy that has embroiled our organization.
      As you know, this is a great time for us to spend as many hours as possible in the Meditation Hall, or serving in the Dining Facility as Cooks, Cleaners, or Karmic Monitors, rather than passing our time in the outlying rooms. It's unfortunate that both the Men's and Women's Dormitory Wings have windows in every room, as the stones thrown by protesters can leave nasty purple bruises. Take it from me! Going out there for yesterday's press conference brought up vivid, personal memories of junior high school dodgeball -- memories that will give me plenty of material to work on with Baba-ji in my next Personal History Detachment Session. Ha! It's funny how reliably the old Ego Mind dredges up Undesirable Emotional Material you never thought you had! Seriously, though, please remain mindful of the dangers of walking near the windows. It's just not safe.
      Although there has been some confusion about the men in dark suits and neckties, I assure you that it is with careful contemplation and balancing of all potential outcomes that the Board of Directors chose to wave the Shoelessness requirements for the investigators who enter the compound. It is an illusion that -- as I've heard a few of you mutter under your breaths -- the last thing we need is a wave of transitory energy flooding our environmental safety zone. Oh no, the true LAST THING we need (and I use the term "need" here knowing quite well that "need" itself is an illusion as well as one of the Five Seductive Trappings of Attachment, but invoking the old cliché nonetheless, so bear with me) is a bunch of grumpy FBI agents determining our fate. Let's try to cultivate an Attitude of Compassion toward their intrusions. Remember, it's their supervisors who sent them, and they have not yet seen through the Eyes of Emptiness. Have some compassion! Let them wear shoes.
      Baba-ji has requested that all radios, televisions or other electronic forms of communication be turned in promptly to the Board of Directors for immediate disposal. Now, we know these items are against the rules; but we also know that the Karmic Monitors, in their touching generosity of spirit, have been overlooking various Walkman-style radios for some time. Believe me, it was hard to turn in my little armband tuner; but when I thought of the karmic benefits of letting go of that silly material attachment, I was ready to give up even my meditation cushion! Ha-ha!
      Finally, for those of you whose (contraband) radios have picked up the reports from National Public Radio and other sources, please rest assured that Baba-ji unconditionally and without reservation denies any and all of the charges that have been levied against him. "Who knew how angrily the world would react to Truth, Marty?" Baba-ji said to me just this morning as I visited him in his bunker for one of our hourly briefings. And due to the controversy surrounding his recent lesson ("Why the Terrorist Attacks were Not Evil But Just Another Manifestation of Karma: We All Deserve to Suffer a Little Every Now and Then"), our Web site has been taken down and the printing of the second edition of the pamphlets has been halted. "Sometimes Truth must give way toward pragmatic concerns," Baba-ji told me with a smile. Yes. Pragmatic concerns. Like surviving the wrath of the American public, I'll bet! Ha! As if The Nirvana Project had anything to do with Islam or the terrorists whose physical manifestations were aviationally terminated last month, along with so many other souls who hadn't yet seen The Way. Choices, choices. With that in mind, Guru-ji assures us that he never sexually molested or assaulted any of the women who have come forward, claiming to have known him as girls during in his earlier phase as a high school principal. After all, who are you going to trust -- the American Media or your own beloved guru? No reason to even think about that one!
      Believe me, companions, I know these are difficult days for us all. We miss the windows, the fresh air, the unsupervised Contemplation Walks around the grounds without the presence of National Guard troops. Nonetheless, this is no time to lose faith in the Project. Our commitment to the Nine Devotions of Apathy has gotten us this far, my spiritual friends, and that commitment will guide us through this temporal quagmire of illusions and attachments to the realm of pure and eternal bliss. Jai Baba-ji, Om!


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